faunlette

I worked until 2 am and rang in the New Year with my coworkers at Theo's. It is like one big happy family.
I am so grateful to finally have a job working with decent people. Max got home today, he FINALLY called yesterday appologizing for his uncommunicative ways. He was without a phone or the internet for the entire week. My brother is comming home tonight! I havn't seen him in a year and a half. I feel like I'm not excited enough. Maybe I'm just hungover. Last night I went to Lee's and drank a bottle of Rose. I saw an old friend and he gave me a beautiful, black, carved arrowhead. It is my new favorite thing.
 

Tonight I did my nails dark purple with gold tips, watched Brigette Jones' Diary as well as South Pacific and ate a delicious dinner ...steak being the main course, surrounded by a sea of roasted vegetables, mashed potatoes, and big, juicy, suculent mushrooms. YUM. I love my dad. He makes such delicious food. I guess it makes up for all the yelling and fighting and all that fun stuff that goes on between us. For some reason, lately I have been like OBSCENELY obsessed with food. I told Rodney this and he said it's because I'm in a new relationship, and that when your in a new relationship with someone you tend to just want to consume everything as well as the other person (figuratively speaking). This could be true, however, when I feel sad and lonely I eat aswell. Lol. Oh well, at least I'm not as heavy as I was in the summer! I'm a good 5 pounds away from that. By spring I should be 140 or less...It will just take a couple of fasts and persuading myself that food isn't something that should be constantly ingested and instead savoured. But I do love it so. Anyway,  Here are some pretty pictures of the Polynesian goddess from South Pacific. Her name is France Nuyen. She was such a beauty.
 

 
 

          I am training to become a server at this busy, greek restaurant downtown. I have never really served in my life. And it is fucking terrifying. I mananged to finally land some sort of a job in this town... and now all I can think about is how much serving sucks. I know I am just being a big baby. I guess it just angers me that I still am not working towards anything that resembles a career. Well I guess I am... I am trying to save up money to get out of this town, and work towards my goals. But fuck! SERVING?! Do any of you have any experience/advice in this field? Because quite frankly it scares the shit out of me. My next shift is on NEW YEARS EVE. Wish me luck. In other news, I am contemplating flushing my big fat bottle of Zoloft down the toilet. I don't want it to control my life anymore. I have already stopped taking it for the last 4 days and it feels great. My dreams aren't really that fucked up anymore and I feel like im beating the Zoloft withdrawals.

          Last night was really shitty. I didn't know that my ex boyfriend still had the power to induce intense anger in me. We got in a fight about how everytime we talk he is always trying to act cool and make me jelous. It also really pissed me off that he went into detail about this girl he's going on a date with and how she is "Jewish and becoming a Librarian" and he thinks that is his "attraction" to her. His loss because I think I am prettier than her. LOL. It just makes me sick a little. I really shouldn't care. I don't want him back or anything. Everything about him turns me off. So I have decided to refrain from being his friend for my own piece of mind. And he can talk to someone else about his vain escapades at the thrift store and about how all he does is "write and make art". James, you really have nothing to prove to me. I just wish you had at least one original thought in your brain. On top of all this, my actual boyfriend hasn't called me in three days... he is in Vancouver. Should I be worried?... should I take this as a sign that he doesn't want to take this as seriously as I have been? I know for a fact that he thinks I take everything too seriously. And if he knew how I really feel about how he hasn't called me in three days he would just say that I am freaking out and being too affected by everything. I really do wish I wasn't so affected and that I could just forget about him for the whole time he was gone and occupy myself with things of my own interest. BUT I CAN'T. It's just not that easy. Upon his return he will be going back to school for the semester... And I will be "his girlfriend on the side" type of thing. Because he will be really busy. It angers me that I'm not going to school or doing anything with my life. And that I'M not busy. I should just suck it up and do something and get on with it, right? Ugh! This entry has just been all belly acheing. Sorry, friends. 

                    To help me cope with all of these boy troubles I have been listening to Lily Allen's new album. I love it's brit pop simplicity and catchy melodies.. It is a total "get over him" album and gives me a sense of empowerment. This one's dedicated to the ex! Enjoy!
 

           

Today I took Plan B!
heres hoping.

on a lighter note... this song is amazing.

I want my boyfriend to style his hair like an 80's punk/goth.



 

 

happy cat mas.
 

&
rest in peace uncle Len.

burning wax. arizona potato chips, "bloink", spice girls, aqua, the fiery furnaces, hitch hikers, god lovers, weed, pabst blue ribbon, separate beds, separate bodies?, delicious cheese, crackers and pickles, the hard carpet floor.

I need to start taking pictures with my new canon camera.
I would like to take portraits of my parents. And other's parents.
I would like to paint a giant portrait of you in your 80s hay days.



For christmas you are getting personalized paintings catered to your deepest desires and admirations.

Yesterday my sweet mother bought me my belated birthday present. A big bottle of the Lola perfume I've been wanting by Marc Jacobs!!! <3 Today in Kelowna I bought purple mac lip liner to go under my black lipstick, mineralized cover-up (also by mac) and a bra and lacey stay up stockings from La Senza. How I long for Victoria's Secret lingerie, or better yet, AGENT PROVACATEUR. But I live in Penticton and I do my shopping in Kelowna, which is the best I've got. I was in American Eagle with my little sister as she was looking for some tops, and I found a really nice faux fur vest. It was 60 dollars. I honestly cannot spend that much on a vest, let alone, spend that much at American Eagle. That store is fucking bullshit! So preppy and basically a big thrift store knock off. I realized I hate new clothes. The only times I buy them are if I need new pants, in which case I buy Cheap Mondays, or when I splurge on a nice new pair of heels, or a designer item. But that is rarely the case.

My sweet family... Sometimes I'm not sure if I can stand living another moment under the same roof as them, other times, I don't know what I would do without them. If I didn't have such a close relationship with them I might possibly be dead right now, or a whole lot more jaded. I love them with all of my heart, I am realizing that family is everything. And the only thing that sticks with you through your life until your last breath escapes your lungs (if your lucky enough). My older brother is comming back from Nova Scotia in early January, it will have been a year and a half since the last time I saw him. I miss him so much. I can't believe it has been that long! Oh, my dearest brother.

The other day I watched Wristcutters- A Love Story. It is one of the most romantic movies I have ever seen. What can be more romantic than meeting your true love in the afterlife and then waking up next to them realizing you have another shot at life. Gahhhhh so amazing! I love films and how they make me feel. They make me appreciate life like a poem or a song would.

I bought a nice new red hat at the thrift store yesterday which inspired today's parisian/spanish, saucey outfit.

I kindof miss having weird bangs.

Some Ian eye candy for you.

Hey Kittens, I was just thinking about how after adding all of you cool cats I can hardly remember what interests go with what person. You see my predicament. My friends list has doubled but I don't really know who you are!
Enlighten me.

My name is Claire.
What's yours?

Tell me a little bit about yourself
...The first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning...
do you like your coffee black?
A childhood memory, or a religious/non religious experience
That sort of thing.
Or just, whatever you feel like sharing...

thinks I might have a drinking problem.